I’m tired… And I have a headache… And It’s
really hot… And… And… neeeeeehhhhhhhh…
So I’m sitting here at the kitchen table,
casually emailing different businesses about whether they can give me a part
time job, and looking forward to the holidays. Why you may ask? When I have said
previously that I am much better when I am working. Well, quite simply because
I will be working on something. Or rather someone, although that it not a great
way to phrase it.
Yes, the other night I was at a gathering
of sorts, getting drunk and avoiding the smokers (not out of dislike them for
them, but dislike for throat pain and nausea) and I met someone. This happened
to be a female someone, roughly my age (+4 months) and we got along pretty
well. Now whenever I meet girls, I tend to do a large number of things that are
giant turns offs.
1)
I talk too much, a not a little
too much, pauses for eye contact or gentle smiles at one another are eradicated
because I just don’t shut up
2)
I am an inaccessible
personality. Dan, you described to me at one point that you get very passionate
about things, and so people tend to move away from you, because you don’t leave
them a space to add in a comment. I have the exact same problem. We happened to
be talking about books, and we brought up the ‘His Dark Materials’ trilogy by
‘Phillip Pullman.’ I could rave about how much I love them for a solid half
hour without anyone needing to ask me a question, and that level of overpassion
and overexpression is an instant and effective girl-repellent.
3)
I am a giant nerd. Dan, Andrew,
you both have the exact same condition, but at least you two have had multiple
girlfriends before, so you have probably developed strategies to contain it. I
however have had one girlfriend, with whom I reached base 1.5, and went on four
dates with. I simply have not had the practice to contain my nerdiness, or
learnt how to present it in a cool, quirky, funny way.
4)
I look like me, and me is not a
shining reflection of masculinity and dashing-ness, it is a bit like the most
unremarkable figure you’ve ever seen, with mild acne.
5)
Girls are my friends. Dan,
Andrew, we all went to the same schools, which were co-ed schools. This means
we have been around a range of girls our whole lives, and interact with them on
a regular basis. In short, girls are not mysterious people that we are
intrigued and fascinated by upon first glance, they are just people. And
treating someone just like a person means they are more likely to become your
friends than start feeling attracted to you. So I go about, treating the girls
I meet just like any other person, and so even though I am feeling rather drawn
and attracted to them, in their view, I am just another friend.
6)
I am not funny. Dan, you are
the funny one. Andrew, you are funny to a certain crowd. Me, no. And this means
that a lot of likeability that comes from a person beings funny and charming,
is left to just being charming, and as I’ve said, I’m not particularly
charming.
So with all of that said, I am incredibly
worried. I like the girl, and she is quite cute, and way, way smarter than me, and
has been to like… every continent, and just overall outdoes me in every area
and every way. When we finally got off books (which I let her do most of the
talking, and gave positive and not overly gushing remarks upon) and moved onto
movies, I suggested we go see a movie, and she was like “Hec yeah, lets do
this.” And then we kept chatting about school and friends (gossip was a great
topic that lasted a while,) and our most favorite and least favorite things
while driving, catching the train, on a plane and on a boat. Then a couple
dance songs that I knew the moves to came up, and so we danced, and I very
slightly wanted to kiss her, and made several attempts to, but the constant
movement and other people watching me was pretty unnerving so I didn’t.
Theme of the Week!
What’s something interesting that has made
you rather nervous recently? Recount it. In detail.
Blog you next time… (I told you I wasn’t
funny)
R. A. Lyons.
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