42 - AL 12 - Uhhhhhhh!

There isn’t all that much annoying me at the moment, but I’ll take a stab at something.

First of all, Dan, I’m not sure I actually understand what you’re annoyed about. Are you annoyed that people haven’t been filming in Ready-To-HD formats for longer, or that people are still making DVDs instead of just making blu-rays? Actually, don’t answer, I don’t really care either way.

What am I annoyed at?...

Well, I still haven’t replaced my glitch microwave, and I think it has started mocking me. The last time I went to heat up some lunch, I swear it said ‘Ha Ha Ha,’ on the screen, as if mocking me for being to poor to get a new microwave; one that doesn’t take about five minutes to process two-minute-noodles.

What else?...

I still compulsively sing every single song I know the lyrics to, which is unfortunate when actual signers are around, and they start mocking me for being flat on every note I sing, and that my voice goes all weird whenever I get to higher notes.

You know what else? Music in horror movies.

I have a standing agreement with a film school a few blocks from my recording studios that students are free to request my help composing some music for their films, but only if I have time. I like doing this for a few reasons, not least of all because composing music for film students is easy, because whatever I compose, they are happy and grateful and don’t ask me to change it. But it’s also great practice, student films aren’t the best made productions in the world, so they really need some emotive music that fits the look of the film to make it work. But what I’m annoyed at is when they try and make horror movies. Horror movies need to be all dark and shady and moody, and perfectly framed and with horrible scripts. Student films generally have none of these, and don’t really look like horror movies. So my instinct is compose music that isn’t really horror, more like creepy-mystery music. But of course they want horror film music. Horror film music is minimalist, ambient, and screechy, and this is always the case, always. This, unfortunately, doesn’t quite fit with the film they’ve made, and so ends up sounding melodramatic and out-of-place. That annoys me, because it happens at least four of five times a year, and usually those are the ones that end up asking for my help.

And lastly, Paint Rollers. Yeah, you heard me… Read me.

We busied ourselves on Saturday repainting our break room, because the color of mucus green isn’t really helping everyone’s anime/ation addictions. We instead decided to paint it sky blue, as if to remind us that there are no windows in there, or anywhere else in the building for that matter. And people wonder why sound people are so pale, and gangly looking. Well I was put on roller duty at one point, and I swear, that roller was the worst designed piece of painting equipment ever devised by the hands of man. The paint brush thing kept slipping off, resulting in weird streaks on the wall. The handle was loose and kept tilting in different direction, making it impossible for me paint in a straight line, and ended up with some parts of the wall coated in paint, and other parts with barely an undercoat. And finally, it sucked at spreading paint out evenly. The paint brush part itself was just hugely terrible at holding paint; and then letting it go. It was so infuriating that I ended up yelling loudly at Taylor, the cute singer who I occasionally work with. Not angrily, just in conversation. It must have seemed downright strange, and it is now assured to me that next time we work together will be awkward.

There’s my annoyances. Read from you next week.

Andrew Lyons.