Saturday 12 October 2013

48 - AL 14 - The Mature Approach To Shunning

You know, I can’t say that I’m really a big fan of the deep n’ meaningfuls.

Which is not to say I don’t respect them, and have them occasionally. But I can see both of you seeing friends and starting talking basically just so that you can have a deep n’ meaningful about something, and that doesn’t really appeal to me. Who wants to spend all their time micro-examining their lives and talking about everything that’s wrong and that they’re worried about? It would get exhausting. I’m surprised both of you still talk to the contrary.

But since it is the theme of the week, I’m sure I can pull a nice deep n’ meaningful story out.

I have never been a particularly emotional person, ask any of my girlfriends or family members. But I have always been willing to listen and console when they’re going through a hard time, not matter how stupid I think it is. My first girlfriend and I were on our 7th or 8th date, basically in that kind of time when you’re either going to knuckle down and get more serious, or fade off and go your separate ways. We were sitting on a hill top over looking the beach (her suggestion, not mine,) and we got into an interesting conversation.

She had alluded to having previously had partners, though never referred to any specifically or by name. And while we were sitting on this hill top, running into a larger amount of awkward pauses than we usually did, she let me know that I was, in fact her first boyfriend.

She went on to tell me that she gets insecure and shy about certain things, and to cover it up, makes up stories and experiences in that particular topic to make herself feel better, and cover this up around others.

I think this is silly. People, and especially not the guy trying to get with her, are not going to have any judgments or reservations based on how experienced you are at dating. If they do, then they are not worth hanging around. I didn’t say this of course, but I did listen and comfort her about it.

I hadn’t been at all secretive about the fact that she was my first girlfriend, and that I was always nervous that I was messing things up. But she was really concerned about this, and afraid that I would somehow think less of her.

I was kind of moved by several things. First, that she trusted and felt comfortable enough around me to say this, which was clearly not easy for her. Second, I’d watched enough tv and movies to see that people often hid parts of themselves to appeal more to others, but I didn’t think this was actually a thing in real life. But turns out it is, and I’m guessing it’s pretty common.

This deep n’ meaningful taught me that you should not pretend to be someone that you’re not. And if you ever have to, you’re not in a good situation. Being yourself is the only way to truly get close to someone, cause otherwise the other person is getting close to a lie, and you’ll never really feel like you’ve made a friend.

That’s my little deep n’ meaningful story. Like I said, I’m not exactly a big fan of them, but I do respect them.


Till next week brothers.

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